I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
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