I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
