I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
