i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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