why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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