Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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