My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
