dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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