How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
