But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
