Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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