please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
