I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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