I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
