she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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