Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
