i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
