i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
