the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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