I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
