only you would photoshop your dick
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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