How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
