Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
