he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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