So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
