WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
