can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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