3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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