I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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