I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just found a bag of teeth...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
