Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
