he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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