Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
