So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
