I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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