why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
they call him Oral-B. enough said
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
