Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
