Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
