but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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