Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
