he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
