So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
