i just sent this text using only my big toe
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
