Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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