those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
