he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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