So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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