I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
