It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
