what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
